This morning, my 20-year-old son gave me a good reset! “You are always on our back, you always have something to say! »
Giving me feedback to that part of me that controls, that wants everything to be perfect, to those aspects of my personality that nourish co-dependency, to my inability to let people just be…
Oh! This famous “love” of the Jewish mother, or, of a mother in general !
When “taking care” becomes conditional…
What is missing to this “love” that constrains, that interacts incessantly, is the silence that we find in self-esteem.
Yes, in the silence, there is all the love we were able to give to ourselves, all the capacity to be alone and to look at the other as a sovereign being, free and imperfect, as we are.
We, mothers, tend to consider our children as an extension of ourselves, as one of the licenses of our family pack office!
It all starts with welcoming and love ourselves as we are, to cherish our imperfect humanity, to understand that by looking at those parts of ourselves we don’t like, we will be free and able to look at others, especially our children, without wanting to shape them, for their own good…
I love those moments when my children, with their heart and convictions, mirror me those parts in me, that I really find difficult to grasp. I love that they can, at the same time, express the weight that they feel on their shoulders, and their desire to make me grow.
I find myself so available to welcome their words, much more than with any other person.
To my children, my teachers, I see in you all the wisdom that you carry, and I express here my immense gratitude.
Emmanuelle